a blur

The last few days have been a blur. A complete blur.

Thurs.

Rebecca asked me what I thought about her giving notice at her day job and go to New York to secure herself an theatre internship. If she couldn’t line one up by Christmas, she’d be on a plane back to Austin.

Her logic was sound. Her job as an administrative assistant at a non- profit hospital was not helping her in her theatre life except that it was paying her bills. The stress level had gotten out of hand. So, if she were looking for a job, wouldn’t it make more sense to look for a theatre job in New York than another make-due job here?

This came as no surprise. After she and her partner closed iron belly muses following the production of Pains of Youth, I knew that she was itching for opportunities to work in theatre as a director. Internships, jobs, etc. And not necessarily in Austin — though it’s a great town for many things, to make an absolute living at theatre is a rare thing. She went to Chicago this summer for her birthday and came back wide-eyed and raving about the extent of their theatre scene.

I’m not the sort of person to say no to someone else’s desire to pursue their lifework. Especially not one of the most important people in my life. But I was not looking forward to the idea that I’d be sleeping without her for three or more months.

Fri.

All day, I was an emotional mess. First, there was the client meeting that never happened. Then, Polly Jean decided that she needed to go outside every 25 minutes. Various jobs were stalled because of the three- day weekend. And above all of this was a bad taste in my mouth about Rebecca’s news from the night before.

I knew that she was giving her written notice at work. Because of the level of her position, I knew that she had four weeks. I felt as though that bought me more time somehow.

On my walks with Polly Jean, I could tell there was a storm in the air.

Sat.

Cary, my yoga instructor, is on vacation for the next week and I did not like his replacement. Rebecca was at rehearsal and so I spent the day working.

Late afternoon, I went to Target. And walking down the aisles, between the Huffy bicycles and the garden hoses, it was all I could do not to cry. This is stupid, I know, but I had this vision of being alone, completely and utterly alone, being 16 and holed up in the middle of winter in an apartment storage closet with nothing to eat except a canister of Wienerschnitzel chili and day-old bread.

That night, Rebecca gets a call from an audition that she thought for sure that she wouldn’t get didn’t nail and they offered her the lead role. She did some quick thinking. And decided that she may have a few more relationships to build and other things to do before she goes to New York.

We decided that we’re going to take a December trip up to New York to visit and see what it’s all about — I’ve never been. It’ll be a nice vacation. Nice and cold.

Sun.

It rained and the monsterous burger at Casino El Camino could not have tasted better.