my teen music: the long dark closet

We all have them, skeletons in our musical closet, dark ages of music. Mine — for the most part — was most pronounced at the tail-end of the ’80s. I can sum it up in five words (in no particular order): Poison, Bon Jovi, and Def Leppard. Shudder.

Which is interesting, considering the kind of music I was raised on — the Beatles, Bob Dylan, Elvis Presley, the Who — and the kinds of bands I was listening to just before — Peter Gabriel, the Clash, REM. (I also listened to to Guns ‘n’ Roses during this period and I’d like to point out that “Appetite for Destruction” is a masterpiece. I listened to it just last week.)

Looking back, fifteen was an interesting time — freshman year, all geekiness and DC Comics. Especially in 1989. I mean c’mon, even I knew Milli Vanilli were lip-syncing. The hum-drum about Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” video, Jethro Tull winning the first Heavy Metal grammy.

Does all this explain my two favorite pair of jeans? One, a la David Lee Roth (read: bandanas wrapped all around my legs) or thrashed like Joe Elliot’s from the “Pour Some Sugar on Me” video? Kinda, but they’re hardly excuses.

After hair metal came the equally embarrassing Lilith Fair period: Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, Heather Nova, the list is far too long. Fortunately, during that same period, I discovered Liz Phair’s “Exile in Guyville” and Juliana Hatfield, which then spun me off into the Lemonheads, Buffalo Tom and, eventually, the Pixies — which is a story for another day.

The moral? The next time your sister calls you long distance wanting to know who sang “When the Children Cry,” don’t embarrassed that you know that it’s White Lion. Or that you remember the blue monotone video set on a deserted playground. It’s fine, really. Or at least understandable.